Women and wine go together like melted chocolate and strawberries. It’s one of the most sacred, functional relationships known to man.
Who needs a boyfriend when you can curl up on the couch with a big old glass of vino? You don’t have to worry about another person’s needs, wishes or dreams — with a glass of wine by your side, everything will be OK.
There are a lot of problems in this big, scary world, but an excess of wine could never be one of them. When it comes to wine, more is better. Always.
All women love wine; we’re certainly united on this front, but the difference falls on preference. Are you a red wine or a white wine drinker? Most women prefer one or the other. You’ll definitely hear “I only drink white” or “I only drink red.”
(Though, low-key, we’ll drink any wine if there’s only one option because having red wine when you want white wine is always better than — gasp! — no wine at all.)
Whether you delight in a lukewarm glass of cab or prefer a chilled glass of chardonnay, your wine choice says a lot about who you are as a person. Strangely enough, your choice gives a lot of insight into your preferences toward men, your general habits, and your taste buds.
It’s never a question of whether you drink wine, it’s the kind of wine you choose — or rather the color of the wine you choose.
There are only two kinds of women in this world: red wine drinkers and white wine drinkers.
There are women who prefer to read books and then there are women who prefer to watch movies. There are women who want steady relationships, and there some who want to live without ties.
Can you guess which women would drink red wine and which would drink white wine?
Things are never just black and white, but they are red and white:
1. Red wine drinkers dine by candlelight; white wine drinkers have their dinner at sunset.
2. Red wine drinkers watch Netflix in bed; white wine drinkers watch catfights on HBO.
3. Red wine drinkers read romance novels; white wine drinkers read magazines.
4. Red wine drinkers prefer relationships; white wine drinkers prefer one-night stands.
5. Red wine drinkers made the game; white wine drinkers play the game.
6. Red wine drinkers are practical; white wine drinkers live in the moment.
7. Red wine drinkers vacation in Paris; white wine drinkers vacation in Tuscany.
8. Red wine drinkers are romantics; white wine drinkers are practical.
9. Red wine drinkers listen to classics; white wine drinkers listen to electronic.
10. Red wine drinkers speak their minds; white wine drinkers are good listeners.
11. Red wine drinkers are Team Jacob; white wine drinkers are Team Edward.
12. Red wine drinkers like a little scruff; white wine drinkers like their men clean cut.
13. Red wine drinkers are brunettes; white wine drinkers are steely blondes.
14. Red wine drinkers loved English class; white wine drinkers loved Science class.
15. Red wine drinkers are deep thinkers; white wine drinkers are big talkers.
16. Red wine drinkers are worried about stains; white wine drinkers throw away their inhibitions.
17. Red wine drinkers have a few good conversations; white wine drinkers are the lives of the party.
18. Red wine drinkers love sultry bars; white wine drinkers love the outdoors with open air.
19. Red wine drinkers hold a glass by its stem; white wine drinkers keep their pinkies up.
20. Red wine drinkers wear maxi dresses; white wine drinkers show midriffs.
21. Red wine drinkers like their meat; white wine drinkers prefer the surf.
22. Red wine drinkers have dry humor; white wine drinkers have full-bodied laughs.
23. Red wine drinkers leave voicemails; white wine drinkers send texts.
24. Red wine drinkers like their shoes comfortable; white wine drinkers like their shoes tall.
25. Red wine drinkers sit in big leather chairs; white wine drinkers lie on the beach.
27. Red wine drinkers write with pens; white wine drinkers type on touchscreens.
28. Red wine drinkers like it hot; white wine drinkers don’t mind a little chill.
29. Red wine drinkers wear Mary Janes; white wine drinkers wear strappy sandals.
30. Red wine drinkers curl up by the fire; white wine drinkers like a breezy summer day.
31. Red wine drinkers wear velvety corduroy pants; white wine drinkers prefer sundresses.
32. Red wine drinkers like good literature; white wine drinkers like good movies.
33. Red wine drinkers enjoy table conversation; white wine drinkers enjoy chatting on the phone.
34. Red wine drinkers like evenings in; white wine drinkers are all about party time.
35. Red wine drinkers prefer heavy clothing; white wine drinkers love keeping it light.
BY GIGI ENGLE